Celebrating Spiritual Successes
May 28th, 2010
A huge high five!
Leah completed her first year at Awana and her first handbook.
My daughter’s first club year flew. My favorite moment of the year was when Leah walked up to the stage to accept her award. She had a nervous but proud smile on her face as she was given a large blue and white ribbon for completing her first book in the T&T third- to sixth-grade program.
The church was filled with excitement and energy as more than 150 children anxiously waited to be called on stage. Each child was recognized for his/her success in Awana.
It was great to see families cheer for their sons, daughters, brothers, sisters and friends. I saw the look of accomplishment on faces from one end of the room to another.
I really appreciated how the Awana award ceremony honors the hard work and dedication the kids give to their spiritual growth. It was touching to be present when one young teen received her Awana Citation Award. This award represents the fact that she has:
- Read the entire Bible
- Memorized more than 700 verses over 10 years of study
- Participated in volunteer ministry service
- Attended Christian training seminars.
Needless to say, she received a standing ovation.
As I observed the ceremony, I thought about how amazing it is to pause and celebrate spiritual success. We evaluate success in so many other areas of our lives: work, academics, sports, music, theater, Pulitzer prizes. I wonder ─ why aren’t we better at acknowledging our spiritual successes? Why don’t we throw a party when we forgive someone, read a book of the Bible, serve our local nursing home or finally take that solitude day to reflect on God’s goodness and pray?
It’s so easy to minimize our spiritual growth or focus on ways we fall short. Most of us tend to check our accomplishments off a list and move on to the next goal. Why not stop and feel the joy of one success?
I so appreciate that Awana closes the ministry year with a celebration. Awards are honoring and motivational. Leah’s blue and white ribbon will hang on her mirror for years. In a time when teenagers are feeling pressured to brush off church, I was delighted for Leah to see one Citation achiever meet her spiritual goal of learning and living Scripture for many years. What a great role model.
What are your thoughts on celebrating spiritual successes?
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Finishing the Club Year with a Thankful Heart
April 28th, 2010
Last night, I really needed to just stay home.
I got home from the office, ate dinner and wanted to melt away on the couch. My body and mind were tired and saying, “Do it tomorrow.” But I promised Leah we would go to the store. So, leaving the house at 8 p.m., I kept my promise.
Our shopping goal was to buy cards and thank you gifts for her Awana leaders. Tonight is leader appreciation night. It’s also the official last night of Awana for the club year. From my perspective, the year has flown by. I wonder whether or not the volunteer leaders feel the same way. 
Due to the dedication of her awesome volunteers, Leah completed her first year at Awana ─ finishing the first of two T&T books. It’s a noteworthy accomplishment for an 11 year old who is a first time clubber.
Her three “red team” leaders and large group teacher model true dedication.
I am grateful that these women have shown:
- a caring attitude
- consistent service
- creative leadership
(A couple weeks ago, Leah came home with a cool birthday gift bag. The leaders celebrated all the girls’ birthdays on one day with candy and a special CD. Very fun.)
So as I half ‘sleep-walked” through the Christian book store, I thought how easy it would have been to just pick up gifts on my way home from work. Yet, I think it was important for Leah to choose the gifts and write the thank-you notes herself. After all, she is the one who received direct benefit from the time these women have given her.
It is intriguing what we learn about our children in these moments. I thought it was interesting that Leah selected a unique mug for each leader that had a specific design and verse. Leah also selected a small stone engraved with a verse for each leader. When we got home, she wrote out the thank-you cards. I admit that my contribution was wrapping the gifts so Leah could finish her nightly school reading assignment.
Being thankful is such an important heart attitude. As the years pass, I hope Leah continues to grow in having a thankful attitude toward the adults who build into her spiritual life.
How are your children showing thankfulness to the adults in their lives?
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I’m So Glad the Holy Spirit Told Me ‘Stop!’
April 1st, 2010
“What’s your favorite verse, Mom?”
Leah took her highlighter and marked my favorite verse in her crisp new Bible: Romans 8:38-39 — For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Next, she marked her favorite verse. Proverbs 17:4 A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue. I was so encouraged by this interaction.
Leah’s new Bible is perfect for her. She had a Bible but wanted a new, smaller one that would be easier to carry in her Awana book bag.
My first reaction was frugality. “But you have a Bible,” I said as we stood in our church bookstore. I saw how fun and cute the slim line version was with the leather ladybug on the cover.
My next question was “How can you read it? The type is so small.” I was stuck in practical, logical mode. I don’t like impulse purchasing, and this felt like an impulse to me.
Then, I nearly heard an audible “STOP” from the Holy Spirit. “Wait. Do you realize she’s asking for a BIBLE? So, she’ll have two Bibles. If you buy her anything, what better way to spend money? She’s not asking for more Disney, star-studded magazines or Harry Potter books! The price of this Bible is the same cost as a meal out for the two of you.”
So, I stopped. It was hard in the moment. I shifted my thinking and told her I thought it was a very nice Bible. Trying to instill the value of money, even when spending for spiritual reasons … I did ask her to pitch in allowance to buy the new Bible.
I am so glad that God put the brakes on my reaction. He does want me to be discerning on how our family resources are spent. Yet, I think Leah’s desire for a new Bible is an outcome of what I hope she is gaining by participating in Awana.
In the last several months, I am seeing Leah’s heart for God’s Word grow. The new Bible is one specific example of this change.
I’m grateful my practical reaction was overruled by God’s reaction.
How do you struggle finding balance between the spiritual and practical sides of being a parent?
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You Need to Keep Learning ─ if You Want Your Kids to
March 17th, 2010
I am so inspired this week.
For many reasons.
First, I am inspired that Spring seems to be here – at last.
It’s been a long winter in the Chicagoland area. So my San Diego visit this week is like a journey to another planet. I almost forgot what cloudless blue skies look like and sunshine on my face feels like. I am here for the Children’s Pastor’s Conference.
Second, and most of all, the people I am meeting here are the main reason that I am inspired. Children’s pastors and volunteers gather to this conference from around the country. They are here to receive coaching and encouragement on how to better serve children ─ your children in churches nationwide. Many volunteers pay their own way to attend four days of learning.
What amazing hearts these leaders have. They have a passion that is enthusiastic, energetic and hopeful. They are proactive in seeking ways to better improve their own personal ministry to our children.
I am particularly grateful as I think about the influence they are making on the future through our children. I think of all the children’s leaders at my church and Awana program who have invested time and care into the spiritual growth of my daughter Leah and son Grant. They deserve praise and gratitude. Although they don’t often get it, they continue to serve God with full hearts. I must be better at thanking them.
If they are eager to learn as volunteers, how much more eager should I be to keep learning as a parent? I need to be open to continuously learning how to better spiritually lead and guide my children.
One speaker today, Kirk Weaver, shared that we each have 10,080 minutes in a week. He asked: As a parent, am I willing to proactively give Leah 20 of these minutes a week to spiritually train and connect with her?
This time management question really hit me. I don’t think I am the only parent who struggles with this. It’s not that we don’t want to – it’s where can we find the time in a day full of work, school, homework, activities and other responsibilities?
A common theme here is children’s pastors are concerned that parents do not take spiritual charge of their households. Parents delegate the spiritual training of their child to the church. The results of this approach are a disaster for our children.
Yet, there is hope. Dr. Michelle Anthony shared last night that the only way to succeed in spiritually training our children is to rely on God. We cannot do it alone. Our perspective needs to shift from strictly behavior modification in our kids to spiritual parenting. I admit I have been leaning to behavior modification versus taking the time to discuss whether certain choices my kids make, and I make for that matter, are reflecting the heart and love of God.
So, I am learning this week. I need these challenges.
What have you been learning this week about spiritually leading your home?
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Just Like You ─ Kids Need Spiritual Discipline Too!
March 3rd, 2010
“Aw, do I have to?”
How often has your child asked you this question? If you had a nickel for every time you’d probably be rich, right?
As a parent, it amazes me to be consistently asked by my kids “Do I have to?” about daily and weekly responsibilities. My answer is “Yes, you need to.”
And I’m thinking in my mind, “Just like I told you 1,000 other times.”
I never want to shame my children ─ so I attempt to not show frustration. Yet, it does stump me when I need to remind my kids about basics such as brushing teeth, cleaning their rooms, doing specific weekly chores, getting homework done before evening, etc. My prompting them to act is a necessary piece of my mothering. (At least until Leah and Grant are 18 years old, I expect.)
As an adult, I forget that it took me time to learn to be a responsible person.
It will take my kids time. It’s part of growing up. It is a process to learn daily, practical life disciplines such as putting your dirty clothes in the laundry basket.
It’s also a process to learn spiritual disciplines such as praying and reading the Bible. And the earlier we start spiritual disciplines the better.
Learning spiritual disciplines is one thing I see Leah enjoying about Awana in her first year. She really enjoys her T&T handbook. The theme of the book, the fun characters and stories, the puzzles about the verses all keep her interest in learning high.
Leah likes having her leader sign her book when she learns her memory verses. She is feeling progress as she nears the completion of her first handbook. Leah is seeing good results from her commitment and discipline. Awana handbooks: what a great way to sow the seeds of spiritual discipline in young lives.
I’m interested in hearing ─ in what area do you want your child to have spiritual discipline?
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‘Not Sure You Want to Be Here, eh?’
February 18th, 2010
“Hello, world, there’s a song that I’m singing, Come on, get happy.” Remember the theme song of the TV show “The Partridge Family”? If you do, you’re probably near my age. If not, you can figure out my age from this blog entry, that’s for sure.
Growing up as a preteen (tween) myself, I LOVED watching “The Partridge Family” and had a huge crush on David Cassidy. Tiger Beat was my magazine of choice. My record player wore out the song I Think I Love You on the first Partridge Family record.
This past Saturday, I had my tween dream come true. I saw David Cassidy in concert. Never have before. I was going to bring my husband but had major second thoughts. I knew he’d laugh at me the whole time.
Thinking it would be interesting to bring Leah, I asked her to join me a couple of days before the concert. She half-heartedly agreed.
Well, I think it will go down as one of the best mother/daughter relational decisions I’ve made.
Wanting to have a “full-on” fan experience, I bought third-row seats. We were waaaaay up front. Arms reach to the stage.
When you sit in the third row at any concert, you are sure to be with the “groupies.” The night started with the woman behind us saying that, as a teenager, she wrote David every day for three months. He never responded – “breaking her heart.”
It was fun to see Leah’s reaction to all these crazy, middle-aged women screaming as David Cassidy walked on stage.
One highlight of the evening was that we caught a guitar pick he threw out to the audience. Also, David sang a line from his famous song “Cherish” to us. During that moment, Leah was leaning her face on her hand and he directly talked to her, saying, “Not sure you want to be here, eh?” and imitated her by leaning his face on his hand. It was a priceless moment. A lifelong memory to be shared.
During the concert, it was hard to read what Leah was thinking. So, when we walked out of the auditorium and she said, “That was great!” I was so happy! We talked about the songs (many have decent lyrics compared to lyrics today) and the fan reactions. I’m still laughing five days later.
What does this have to do with anything spiritual?
As I look for ways to grow my spiritual connection with Leah, God is teaching me how essential these daily interactions are. Yes, it is important for me to do things with Leah that she likes. But it’s beneficial for her to do things with me that I like, too.
Leah had a small glimpse into my life at 11.
Revealing my personal story makes me more of a real person than just “Mom.” I anticipate this sharing of my life story will continue to make our spiritual interactions much richer.
How can you better share your life story with your tween?
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How I Got My Tween to Talk!
February 11th, 2010
Thanks to blog readers, I am not as stumped as I was last week. 
Ideas began to flow on the Awana Facebook page to my question: How do I get my tween to talk?
A few of the ideas shared:
- Take a ride in the car together.
- Let the Holy Spirit lead me.
- Have an open attitude.
- Ask more specific questions that a young mind can grasp.
- Do a fun kid activity together.
These are all good. I tried two of these and was pleased with the outcome.
Asking more specific questions
I asked Leah, my 11 year old, to sit down and review two of her most recent Awana handbook pages with me. Her immediate reaction was “Why?” So, after I overcame that curve ball ─ and she didn’t run out of the room ─ we talked about the verse that says God made her to be one of a kind.
I used this fact, about how God created her, to dive deeper. I took her to Psalm 139 and read portions of it to her. (Personally, I’ve been letting this verse marinate in my heart for the last two weeks, so it was an amazing “coincidence.”) I then asked her what specific sentence she thought was most interesting in the psalm. And she told me! It was a brief encounter, but I learned from it.
Lesson: I realized I need to set our conversation bar at a realistic level – and to affirm her response, however short it is.
Just go sit in her room
An hour later, I went into her room and just plopped myself down on the bed and said ─ nothing. Unexpectedly, she opened up about something at school. She asked how I get over fear of public speaking.
This was a big breakthrough. We had a great exchange. I was able to share what I’ve learned over time, how it is a process, real steps I take. I added how I pray before I get up in front of people, and I ended by praying for her.
Lesson: Just being in a quiet spot together, with no agenda, is a great conversation starter.
A bigger outcome is that God affirmed, once again, that my spiritual impact on Leah’s life is not only about discussing biblical text. It’s about being a good listener and connecting pieces of daily life together and giving them spiritual value.
Is it more spiritual to talk about a Bible verse or talk about handling fears at school?
I have my thoughts, but I am interested in what you think. Reactions?
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How Do I Get My Tween to Talk?
February 3rd, 2010
I am stumped.
And to a degree I’m frustrated.
Let me explain.
As the oldest of three children, I had access to my parents for four years without any siblings. I loved to listen to adult conversation. I enjoyed the company of my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents. My dad would bring me to the office with him where I’d be the little fly on the wall ─ observing all the activity.
As my family grew and I had siblings, smaller kids would be off playing and I’d be sitting at the table with the adults “listening” to grown-up talk. I remember being intrigued by what adults talked about and what they said or didn’t say with their body language.
This is probably the reason that I went into the communications profession. I tend to be highly alert to relational and communication dynamics. All of my job roles have focused on helping people better communicate with one another.
Then I became a parent … and my communication world changed.
It was one thing to communicate with a 1 or 2 year old.
Today, communicating with a fifth grader is a whole different experience. Trying to draw my daughter into a conversation is like pulling gum out of the carpet. It’s a lot of effort, and you don’t know if you can fully get out what you need.
This past week, I wanted to be “proactive” and initiate a good spiritual conversation. I asked Leah what certain verses in her Awana book meant to her. She basically repeated the verse back to me. Sigh.
Next, I asked a probing question. “Leah, how does your faith impact your life?”
She gave me “the look,” followed by the answer I so often get these days ─ “I don’t know.”
My tween and teenager are mysteries to me. Not very interested in deep conversations ─ so different than I was at that age.
Help. I’m looking for ideas. How do you draw your tween into a conversation?
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Difficult Parenting Moments
January 27th, 2010
One of my most difficult parenting moments is happening right now … as I sit down to write this blog.
I’m at my computer, and my son is doing his after-dinner chores. As we talk, it comes up that he needs me to sign a permission slip. My signature allows him to watch portions of 20 movies for a high school history class. I’m questioning the appropriateness of a couple of the movies and … well, he’s concerned about my concern.
Ah, the raw mother instinct … I want to step in and watch the clips of what he’s going to see in class. How do I react to my son’s comment: “Mom, I’m in high school”?
His teacher’s request? Well, here we go … parenting dilemma number 1437. The reality is that my son is no longer 5. An age when he didn’t know about questionable movies or TV shows because I had direct control over his little world.
Larry Fowler, in Raising a Modern-Day Joseph, opens his book with the question, “What would you say is the most difficult moment in parenting?” Great question. He gives examples of how parents let go in stages; letting go is a process “one finger at a time.”
Larry’s point is so true. Most of my difficult moments in parenting are the times when I have to let go in some way. The “firsts” are always hard:
- first time I left the house alone after they were born (because I was getting cabin fever)
- first teenage baby sitter
- first day of school
- first field trip on a bus
- first sleepover
- first camp
- first cell phone
- first extracurricular activity ─ at a new church.
Leah, being in Awana, is opening up her world and mine ─ fresh opportunities to participate in activities with new leaders and friends. Just this weekend she took a half-day field trip to Awana headquarters without me. I wish I could say that I didn’t think about it twice. That it’s easy releasing her to others. But it isn’t.
As I let go, I realize I have to trust. Primarily, trust God ─ that He is watching over my children. Trust my children that they will make good choices for their age. Trust my own discernment ─ that I release my fingers at a good and healthy pace for my child.
As my children grow, I’m freshly convicted that I need to proactively build into my children spiritually. If I know that my husband and I have trained and coached them to make choices based on biblical values, it makes letting go a little less painful.
How about you? What about letting go of your child is difficult for you?
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What’s the most influential friendship in your child’s life?
January 21st, 2010
When I signed up Leah for Awana, she was approaching unknown territory. New ministry. New church. Different suburb. All new kids. All alone.
When we walked into Awana the first night, there was so much energy and excitement. Yet, it was obvious ─ most kids knew one another. Not really Leah’s personality type to step into a room of unfamiliar faces, but she did. She was willing. I am so proud of her.
A few weeks into the Awana ministry year, another girl from her grade school joined the same Awana club – Emily. Emily’s mom and I are friends. The girls really didn’t know one another prior to this experience very well. The same age, they were both put on the “Red” Truth & Training team.
We carpool each week with Emily. This gives the girls 40 minutes of solid car time.
It is such fun to see their friendship begin to develop.
They laugh to and from the ride to the church each Wednesday. They are “study buddies” during book time at Awana. They say their verses and talk about what they are learning. On the way home, they sing high-energy club songs.
One night driving home, I remember Leah saying to Emily, “You are so good at that.” The moment stopped for me. It is so awesome to hear my 11 year old affirm another girl her age! I don’t hear genuine encouragement from one child to another much these days. (Ah, the preteen and teen years have hit our home.)
As I think about Leah and Emily, I really hope their friendship lasts. Leah has other friends. Girls that play American Girl dolls, listen to iTunes and watch Disney Channel together. These friends are good, too.
Yet, Emily and Leah are learning an important value as they share the Awana experience – the value of spiritual friendship and accountability. Young iron sharpening young iron.
Reflecting on my friendships, the longest-lasting and deepest connections are the ones where our faith is a basis of the friendship.
In an earlier post, I expressed concern about Leah staying interested in Awana. I am certain that Leah’s connection with Emily is strengthening the experience for Leah.
My prayer is that they continue to “walk the walk” and “run the circle” together for years to come.
What spiritual friendship impacts your child’s life?
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